5 Points to Talk Over Before Moving in with Your Partner

Posted on 07/01/2016

One day you will find yourself talking about moving in with your significant other. You are probably feeling a certain excitement, and you are right to – living with the person you love is the first step towards life in the bigger picture, this is where your own life starts to shape meaning. Well, at least in theory. But don’t be so quick to call the moving company or to start making the moving checklist. First the two of you have to sit down and go through some of the things that living together will entail. This conversation is of special importance, because it will tell the both of you what you are getting yourselves into.

Let’s skip the “Where is this going?” question, which can be asked and discussed whenever the both of you are ready – no need forcing it out.

1. The Rent
Since you are living together, who will pay the rent? Will it be shared? If one of you is going to the other one’s place, should he or she pay half the rent from now on? It’s uncomfortable discussing money topics with your loved one, but everything should be clear once you two move in together. You don’t want one day to open the door to a waiting landlord, holding only half a cheque, or paying the entire rent because your partner thinks you love him / her too much to ask for money.

2. Private Time
Eventually the both of you will need time for him- or herself. Everybody needs some alone time to think about something, to work, or to enjoy him- or herself with something that the other one doesn’t quite enjoy. You need to talk to your partner and make sure that such a time will exist – as much as you love each other, you both need personal space and time.

3. House Chores
Moving in with someone means a disruption in the cleaning duties. Now that there are two of you, the messes to clean up will be twice as much (or more, depending on who is messier), and you will have to share the responsibilities of keeping the place clean. You should talk about who will clean what, or who will clean when if nobody has any special cleaning preferences.

4. Inviting Friends
This can very well be an issue. You both have your shared friends, and, on the other hand, you both have friends that the other one cannot tolerate. Eventually you will want to invite one of those friends over. So what will be your partner’s policy on that? Yes, you need to have a policy about the intolerable friends you both have. Either a notice so that one can leave the house for the duration of the stay, or just to move to the other room and appear as least as possible. Or just have a policy of being civil, but in no way required to speak to said person.

5. Spending Time Together
Do you just generally want to live together? Do you want to do something specific? Up until now you called each other up and made plans for the day. But when living together, you have the opportunity to talk about what you want to do on a day-to-day basis. You can make plans and make plans to break plans, and make plans about planning and eventually breaking said plans because the bed looks so inviting. The key point to this is defining what quality time means for the both of you and stop compromising because of the other one. Watching TV shows or movies you both like is fine, but if you pretend to like something the other one likes, you will hardly have an enjoyable time, so you should not lie about that and make it clear what the both of you like and how you can best enjoy your time together.

Once these issues are out of the way, you can proceed with looking for a removal van and making preparations with the removal company and your loved one. Life of togetherness awaits you, so you better make sure you make the best of it after the relocation.