Looking Up to the Stars - A Removal to Mars

Posted on 13/09/2016

Outer space has always had a firm grip on human ambition, with its wondrous beauty and harsh environment. It is still surprising how science can easily explain most worldly things and how powerless it is to give us a faint clue to the impossible mysteries and uncertain laws of the Universe.

And while we are still far from unveiling what is hidden from us in the vast openness of space, there is one place that has remained as a beacon calling the human race. Much like the light of a window that promises warmth and comfort to a weary traveller, the planet Mars has been a welcoming sight on the night-time sky. That is exactly the association a huge number of people make when they glance at it and think ‘Wouldn’t it be nice to go through home relocation to live there?’

Wouldn’t it be nice…?

It is sad, but the reality is such that we have turned out planet into a messy and unorganised home. Usually, when people don’t like the place they live in, they start working towards the goal of home removal. You know, searching for a better home, looking for a nice man with a van deal to move your belongings, etc. That is exactly what Mars is - a distant home we need to find a way to make our own, in addition to reaching it first. As far as the latter is concerned, no one has ever had doubts about an easy relocation process.

So, fast forward to the point where human beings actually have the technology to move to Mars and establish a sustainable colony there. What do you need to know about the moving service that will take you there?

The most important thing to remember is that the only way (currently) to get to Mars is interplanetary spaceflight. That doesn’t sound too bad, till you realise it would take you 162 days to actually get to Mars, as that is 225 million kilometres worth of distance we are talking about here. Even the most optimistic house moves cannot match a fraction of that! If you try to go with the cheapest offer, you will end up booking a man with van service to take you to Mars in 289 days, when your blue Earth home is the farthest from your new dream red residence on Mars. That sure is a monster space home moving to anticipate, and it is not even counting all the time it would then take you to unpack.

Moving a few houses down the street is one thing; cross country long distance relocation is quite another. And moving to Mars is a science fiction scenario, which you must prepare for. It is of crucial importance to have the right items for your man and van team to pack and move for you. Start with water and food - after all, you can’t expect to photosynthesize. You will need some water for the trip, but considering NASA recently discovered water on Mars, perhaps you will do fine with a small amount. Go through all shopping venues and look for stores that offer ‘Mars environment-approved’ clothing. With temperatures easily reaching -87 degrees Celsius, it could be quite chilly up there. Stack yourself on books and films - you won’t be able to find much to do on the red planet, once you get there and once you are done unpacking the removal boxes the man with a van team just dropped off at your new home.

It is also interesting to note what items not to bring on your home relocation mission. Obviously, with highly toxic air, plants will not survive long on Mars. Pets will not be fond of the prospects too, as they will not be able to venture outside of your home and will live a dull life. If you have an heirloom compass, you can bring it as a keepsake, but know that it will not work - Mars has no magnetic field, so that is that. Taking your surfboard seems like a bad idea too, unless you want to surf on red dust.

Once that is settled, you are good to go ahead and hire your man with van service to take you to Mars. Remember; if you do come across any locals on the red planet be sure to tell them that you come in peace!